Oikeiosis
This week's concept is oikeiosis (pronounced oy-KAY-oh-sis), a Greek word that means something like "affiliation" or "belonging": the natural process by which you recognize yourself in others and extend genuine care outward from yourself to all of humanity. The Stoics saw oikeiosis not as a sentimental feeling but as a rational perception. You come to see that other people share the same nature as you, and that your own flourishing is bound up with theirs. Over this week, you will trace oikeiosis from its first, most personal circle (your own self) all the way out to the whole human race, and learn how to live that connection on purpose.
Passage
These things being thus considered, it is the province of him who strives to conduct himself properly in each of these connections to collect, in a certain respect, the circles, as it were, to one centre, and always to endeavour earnestly to transfer himself from the comprehending circles to the several particulars which they comprehend. It pertains, therefore, to the man who is a lover of kindred [to conduct himself in a becoming manner ] towards his parents and brothers; also, according to the same analogy, towards the more elderly of his relatives of both sexes, such as grandfathers, uncles and aunts; towards those of the same age with himself, as his cousins; and towards his juniors, as the children of his cousins. Hence we have summarily shown how we ought to conduct ourselves towards our kindred, having before taught how we should act towards ourselves, our parents, and brothers; and besides these, towards our wife and children. To which it must be added, that those who belong to the third circle must be honoured similarly to these; and again, kindred similarly to those that belong to the third circle. For something of benevolence must be taken away from those who are more distant from us by blood; though at the same time we should endeavour that an assimilation may take place between us and them. For this distance will become moderate, if, through the diligent attention which we pay to them, we cut off the length of the habitude towards each individual of these. We have unfolded, therefore, that which is most comprehensive and important in the duties pertaining to kindred.
— Hierocles, Ethical Fragments 5.2
Reflection
Now Hierocles gives you the practical instruction that follows from the diagram: pull the circles inward. He says to "transfer yourself from the comprehending circles to the several particulars they comprehend," meaning, treat people in the outer rings a little more like those in the inner ones. This is oikeiosis as a daily practice rather than a fixed fact. The circles are not walls; they are starting positions. You do not erase the difference in closeness, but you deliberately work to shrink the distance: through attention, through small acts of care, through choosing to notice the particular person rather than the abstract category. Hierocles calls this "assimilation," making the far feel a little nearer.
Go deeper
Think of one person who currently lives in a fairly distant circle for you (a colleague you pass by, a neighbor you rarely speak to) and ask yourself what one specific act of attention might actually pull that person one ring closer.
Practice
One Degree Closer
Identify one person you interact with regularly but treat as a member of a distant circle, someone you see as a category rather than an individual. Today, make one small move toward them: use their name, ask a genuine question, or simply give them your full attention for the length of the interaction. Notice whether the distance shifts even slightly.